China, IL is a pretty great show. Anyway, here are some magic items for 5th Ed D&D (or whatever, nothing has stats, you can figure out what this stuff does in Pathfinder or B/X or what-have-you).
Owl Suit. A ludicrous, over-sized carnival costume. When worn, you can flap your wings and do a ridiculous little dance which will transform you into a giant owl for 1 hour. You can't voluntarily change back until the hour has ended, but you can transform back if dispel magic or a similar effect nullifies the Owl Suit's magic.
Universal Doorknob. Place on any wall to create a door, which can be opened with the knob. When you remove the knob, the door disappears. Placing and removing the knob is as easy as touching the doorknob to a surface and uttering a magic word.
Inventor Crows. A flock of crows which, if challenged to build something, will. It takes them 1 hour and a stack of materials appropriate for the thing's construction. So, the crows could build a sailboat, but they would need wood, linen, nails, pitch, rope, etc.
Organic Water. It's not so much that it's good for you, just that everything else is bad for you by comparison. Treat as a superior healing potion.
Ointment and Athame of Alternate Truths. Will resurrect any recently killed creature (rough ballpark, say, within the past two weeks). Simply slather them in ointment, then plunge the accompanying ritual athame into the dead being's heart (or brain, if a heart is unavailable). Missing limbs will regrow; damaged tissue will become whole; old scars will disappear. The resurrected being will believe (regardless of the truth or falsehood of it) that you were the person who killed it. This belief will have accompanying memories (false ones, if you weren't the killer) and the resurrected being will believe them forever. "You," in this context, means, "Whomever plunged the ritual dagger into the dead guy's chest," so plan accordingly.